My Journey with Anxiety
Approximately 18% of the population have an anxiety disorder. What this number doesn’t include is the number of women suffering from anxiety that never talk about it, brush it under the rug and suffer in silence. I was one of those women, to be honest, I didn’t know what I was experiencing was anxiety, it snuck up on me when I hit menopause. I felt tied up in knots more often than not, and I found myself retreating from life and the things that I love.
My first stop was talking to my physician, I couldn’t put it in words, I just felt terrible and I couldn’t put my finger on the source. Yes, I had stress in my life, yes I am by nature a worrier, yes I am a perfectionist, but this was different and I was miserable. I admitted that I found myself reaching for a glass of wine much more often than I should and that in itself was worrisome.
My Doctor started with an antidepressant, and over time it felt like I was on this treadmill that I couldn’t get off of, Xanax, more prescriptions, diet changes, yoga, meditation and while I found some relief, the bitch (which I had named her) would sneak up on me and I would feel helpless and honestly embarrassed that I just couldn’t get it together.
Cannabis had saved my life when I had a debilitating intestinal illness, I was so distraught over this new phenomenon in my life that I didn’t step back and approach it just like I had during my illness. Somehow it felt different treating what was “in my head” than when I was treating my body and what I use to treat my body was much different than what I needed to treat “the bitch.”
I went back to square one, and I became laser-focused on healing my mind the same way that I healed my body. This took time and a lot of experimentation but slowly I started to find relief, the edges were softening, the knot in my stomach was not as tight and although I still have moments where she shows back up to give me hell, I have the tools I need to send her packing.
I started with organic full spectrum CBD, being in Oregon I was able to begin the search for the right 1:1 Cannabis strain and dose. This took some time and I kept detailed notes along the way. I remember specifically the day that I tried a new oil in my pen and it dawned on me about four hours later that the knot in my stomach was gone – I didn’t know whether to jump up and down or cry from relief. Like all things, our bodies change over time and so it is important that I continue to listen to it and make changes as needed.
I often say that while Cannabis and CBD are at the center of my wellness journey, it isn’t the whole picture. What it has allowed me to do is to relax and meditate, exercise and do the things that take care of my mind and body.
If you aren’t in a state where legalization has happened, we have seen tremendous results using a combination of organic full spectrum CBD and essential oils. Keep in mind that CBD takes time, and I recommend taking micro doses throughout the day and using an essential oil/CBD vape pen as needed – we love Beboe. Most importantly, keep talking about it, experimenting and know that you can find relief.
take care of you